Can it really be this simple?
If I say No to what others want, I’d be really clear on what I want. What do I want?
Step 1: Figure out what I really want
If I say No to what others want, I’d need a way to do this consistently and with a defined pattern or set of rules. So if I had 1 big goal that I want to achieve, I would need to be able to recognize ways to spend my time that support my big goal, and only my big goal, not what others want. (What works for me is seeing two lists side by side. The left side is what gets in. The right side is what doesn’t).
Step 2: Identify what gets in vs. what doesn’t.
If I say No to what others want and have obligations, prior commitments and habits that return me back to old ways of doing things to please others, I would need a way to course-correct moving forward. (Glancing at my calendar, these are the events that I don’t look forward to and ask, “why did I agree to go to that?”)
Step 3: Review Calendar & Course-correct as necessary.
If I say No to what others want, and follow steps 1-3 above then I’d be confident that each day, I was making progress towards saying Yes to my greater purpose. Now, where to begin? My Inbox! That thing is filled of what others want and looking at it makes me twitchy. My new calendar on the other hand, can be filled with only good things that I want to do, things I look forward to doing. Things I put in my calendar because I want to do then, not because something thinks I should.
Step 4: Say No to what others want, so I can say Yes to my greater purpose.
If I say Yes to my greater purpose, I can see myself having all this energy and being that much closer to finding happiness! I would need to be disciplined about it, and it may take time. Yet, I know I’d be listening to my heart and pursuing my big goal every single day. If I encounter setbacks, I will recognize them as temporary and keep trying.
It’s time to say Yes to Me.
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JESSICA MANCA is a certified coach, author, entrepreneur and former management consultant. Jessica founded Managing Mindspaces, a professional coaching firm, providing sensible career and life coaching services to professionals making life-changing decisions.
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